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"So, on Ellen, he (Liam Neeson) strips down to a hot pink Speedo, and sits in a glass booth while Ellen and an audience member throw balls at a target to drench him with water. All good. But I encourage you to watch that clip, see how the audience goes wild, and then wonder if you would ever see an older actress do the same. And if you did, what do you think the reaction, if not from a primarily male audience, but from the media would be?"
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"Ok, so I admit when this movie came out I made the “Oh sweet zombie Jesus! No!” face a lot. Then people I trusted started seeing it and coming back with some interesting comments about how it depicted male and female sexuality. So when the Best Girlfriend in the World asked me if I wanted to see it, I said sure!

"For those of you living under rocks, Magic Mike is a film about male strippers, loosely based on Channing Tatum’s (the lead) experiences as a young male stripper in Florida. It stars Tatum in the lead role as Magic Mike, as well as Alex Pettyfer (the Kid), Joe Manganiello (True Blood), Matt Bomer (White Collar), Adam Rodriguez (CSI Miami), and Kevin Nash (WWE/TNA pro-wrestling) as the other male strippers. Matthew McConaughey plays Dallas, the strip club owner, and is, as always, delightfully creepy."

There's some great things about sexuality in this.
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Sorry, it's been a while, guys. But here's the new one. http://www.polimicks.com/?p=637

"Thin people do not realize how fucking fraught going to the doctor can be, when you know you’re going to have to fight with them to seriously look at your concerns. It’s tiring. You don’t want to do it, especially when you already feel like crap and you know you’re going to have to put up with yet more bullying from someone who is supposed to help you, in order to get anything taken care. I’ve been accused of lying about my diet, about my levels of exercise by doctors and nutritionists. It sucks and it makes you not want to go, even when you need to. When you need an anxiety med just to get in the door, hell yes your blood pressure’s going to be through the roof."
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"Sarah Robles is on the US Olympic weightlifting team. She’s currently the highest ranked weightlifter in the US. And because at 275 lbs and 5’10″, she isn’t exactly bathing suit model material as far as our very limited definition of socially acceptable body types is concerned. So, she isn’t having much luck getting the lucrative sponsorships that other more photogenic athletes have."

She needs our support!!!
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"Would I prefer fully “socialized” medicine, like nearly every other rational, industrialized nation in the world has? Yes. But am I happy with the babystep that people cannot be refused insurance for pre-existing conditions? YES! I’m fucking ecstatic, because I’m a 41 year old woman with asthma, arthritis and a family history of breast and uterine cancer. I’ve put off being tested for the gene that predisposes you to breast cancer, because I don’t want an insurance company using that against me if it goes in my file, to deny me coverage."
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"This is the thing, you can want to have sex with someone, but not RIGHT NOW, or THIS WAY, or any of it. You can intend to have sex with someone, and then realize something is off, something is wrong, they aren’t listening to you when you tell them not to do something. Wanting at some point to have sex with someone does NOT give them carte blanche with your body, just as having previously having had sex with someone does not give them carte blanche with your body. Nor does having had sex with someone else give anyone else carte blanche with your body. Consent is not transitive."
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"...why the hell are we expected to keep quiet about the bad behavior of others, particularly when it involves ignoring our own boundaries? This goes for asshats clumsily flirting with disinterested girls, as well as rapists. Whenever women talk about the bad behavior of men, particularly if that man is famous, the default setting of society is that we’re lying. And that goes for children, as well as grown women."
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"This is why I am so very angry at the way the anti-obesity argument is framed. This is why I’m so angry at concern trolls and fat shamers. This. Because those people did this to me. People just like them told me that everything about my body was wrong, and the only way to fix it was to starve myself into submission. People I loved and trusted, doctors, boyfriends, friends, and even complete strangers… They aided and abetted in my crazy. They helped form a brain that thinks that hurting myself with hunger is a Reward.

"I don’t ever want anyone else to have to admit to their loved ones, or themselves that they’re not eating because it feels good. Because food restriction feels safe to them, like a security blanket."
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"But I’d like to point out something to all the Fat-Shamey McDouchebags out there: If you consistently tell someone that they are worth less as a human being, that they are ugly and unfuckable, and unloveable because of something many of us can’t control, is it a big surprise when/if they do quit taking care of themselves and giving up any good habits they had? When your entire life you are surrounded by culture, peers, strangers, and even family members telling you how awful you are now, and how not awful you would be if you would just starve yourself and work your body past endurance to shape it into something that they can find attractive, is it any wonder that so many people do just give up? And wind up blaming themselves for their inability to get thin? Even though we know that 95% of people who do lose weight can’t keep it off."
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"OK, I need a break from all the bitching about assholes and stuff. So I’m going to tell you about a book that made me laugh until I cried while I read it. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A mostly True Memoir by Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess. Some of the stories in the book have been featured on her blog, like the story about Beyoncé the huge metal chicken. But most of what’s in this book isn’t anything I’ve seen on her blog before. She talks about growing up in a shitty small town in Texas, her father the taxidermist, an incredibly patient mother, a sister who got good at playing normal, and growing up with all kinds of wild critters around the house, and goats and chickens, and dogs and cats."
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"I have a dear friend who had gastric bypass surgery a couple years ago. And, like most gastric bypass patients, eventually gained back the weight because SURPRISE! it’s hard to make fat people thin, just as it’s hard to make thin people fat. And she said this to me when I called her on her diet talk. “I just know I can lose the weight again. I have to try harder.”

"How the fuck do you “try harder” than surgically mutilating your body? What’s “trying harder” than that? Don’t answer, I don’t want to know."
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"So, let’s count the sexist tropes, shall we?

"1. Women are over-emotional. They’re so emotional that you can’t understand them, and need subtitles.

"2. Mothers and daughters can’t bear the thought of being separated, and need to Skype daily lest the grief of separation be too much.

"3. Women have no sense of direction and will get lost with 4.2 or 15 miles of their home. So they need a phone with GPS. They also are so obsessed by being separated from their mothers that they will measure the distance in tenths of a mile.

"4. Emotional women should be fled from, seeing how fast the salesguy runs to the back."
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"Ok, once more with feeling, pointing out bullshit behaviors under the umbrella of the word “Creep” is not demonizing male sexuality. It is pointing out bad behavior in a very inexact way.

"I’ve said it before, I think that we should do away with the word “creep” in favor of more specific terms, like, “You haven’t looked up from my tits once since I met you,” “Your opener was ‘Nice rack!’” or “You used (any one of dozens of “pick-up lines” suggested by lad mags like Maxim and Stuff, which continue to convince me that those magazines are written by a bunch of dudes who can’t get laid and want to make sure no one else does either).”
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"Seriously, if you view children as a “consequence” or a punishment for having sex, don’t have any. Period. I’m serious. The world will be a better place without your fucked up DNA propagating further. I promise."
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Today's new one! Dear "Pretty" People, We're On to you!

"'Beautiful on the inside' is what people who think they’re prettier than you say when they don’t think you’re pretty.

"It’s code for 'fat/ugly/gross, but you have a great personality.'"

It's Like They're Trying to Explode My Brain

"Ok, look, everybody do me two favors from now on out:
A. Do not try to tell me that people who are anti-contraception and anti-abortion care about anything more than punishing dirty whores.
B. Do not tell me that I should be more worried about “real” issues instead of worrying about reproductive freedom, equal pay and queer rights.
Oh, and a bonus, don’t assume that because I present female that my job is anything other than necessary for my survival and that of my family."
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"What the hell is up with these assholes who don’t seem to understand that women work for the same reasons men work: to make money to support themselves and their families.

"So, Scott Walker repealed Wisconsin’s Equal Pay law this past week, and the incredibly charming Republican State Senator Glenn Grothman said, when interviewed by Michelle Goldberg at the Daily Beast, “You could argue that money is more important for men. I think a guy in their first job, maybe because they expect to be a breadwinner someday, may be a little more money-conscious. To attribute everything to a so-called bias in the workplace is just not true.”

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A few HAES Tips!

"Ok, now, on to tips I’d like to talk about that both did and didn’t get mentioned in the panel. And most of these relate to Exercise Doesn’t Have to Suck. Pick something you like doing because you will be more likely to keep doing it, as opposed to something you hate. Pick something that is fun and within your price range. Things you may be able to do cheaply include walking, dancing around the house in your underwear, using neighborhood pools for swimming and community water aerobics classes, yoga from online instructional videos… I also have several dance games for the Wii, and have been known to dance for well over an hour at a time. Maida walked a marathon."
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“Oh, I know. Trust me That’s one of the reasons it pisses me off so much. It’s pretending there is ever any way, shape or form in which they WOULD have listened. Having been chided for both being “too passionate/angry” and “not passionate/angry enough” I’ve decided to err on the side of “Fuck you.”
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"Part of the problem comes from the way we view women’s sexuality. Very few women orgasm from nothing but penile-vaginal intercourse. Most women require at least a little clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. This is actually fairly well documented in the literature. The problem comes with media that shows women that the norm should be orgasm with no stimulation other than penetration. So women who can orgasm with a vibrator or manual stimulation of the clitoris wind up feeling substandard or dysfunctional. Very few women appear to be actually anorgasmic, less than 10%. Part of the problem comes from a society that teaches women nothing of their own sexual geography, or stimulus."
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"The main reason that I can’t be amused by Toddlers and Tiaras, is that while I agree that the majority of the families they show are train wrecks (or rather are edited to look as train wrecky as possible), all I see are mothers desperate for their little girls to do better than they did, reach further, go higher. Whether they consciously know it or not. Some of those women may well be living vicariously through those little girls, but part and parcel of that is wanting their little girls to succeed where they didn’t or couldn’t. To me there is nothing funny about people doing everything they possibly can to see their children reach a better life. If the methods are flawed as hell, that’s because they’re working with the tools they know."


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October 2012

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