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Woman as Perpetual Child
May. 29th, 2009 10:50 amThis post (http://rm.livejournal.com/1646208.html) by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rm does a very good job of deconstructing something that's been chapping my hide for quite a while. And that thing is, that in spite of all our strides towards equality, there are still an awful lot of instances where women are still regarded as "less than" men. If you don't believe me, try to buy a car as a couple. Even after telling the salesman that I'm the one with the final say, they still talk to my husband as if I'm not there. If they do answer any questions I might have, they address the answers to him.
Also, getting sterilized as a woman, particularly a woman under thirty in this country. I've known plenty of guys who opted for the snip in their early 20s, who actually got the procedure done with the first doctor they spoke to. Women on the other hand... One friend with a medical necessity for a hysterectomy had to get two medical opinions and psych eval before they would go ahead with it. Does that sound fair or equal?
RM takes it further, though, and right up to the big brouhaha over gay marriage. If marriage is an institution where men "own" women (and lets face it, a lot of these "protect marriage types pretty obviously see it that way), then what do you make of a man who wants to be owned by another man, or women who see no need for this "ownership?"
My room-mate posits that a lot of homophobia comes from a certain type of man's fear that someone will think of him and treat him as he thinks of and treats women. I think this idea has a lot of merit. Particularly considering the previous paragraph.
And if you can't see how those last two paragraphs are connected, read more carefully and think harder.
As much as I love my family, there are certain parts of it who cannot get over the fact that I did not change my name when I got married. Where they see a radical break with tradition, I see an avoidance of more paperwork and extra fees.
Anyway, I'm going at this a lot more clumsily than RM did. Go read her thing.
rm does a very good job of deconstructing something that's been chapping my hide for quite a while. And that thing is, that in spite of all our strides towards equality, there are still an awful lot of instances where women are still regarded as "less than" men. If you don't believe me, try to buy a car as a couple. Even after telling the salesman that I'm the one with the final say, they still talk to my husband as if I'm not there. If they do answer any questions I might have, they address the answers to him. Also, getting sterilized as a woman, particularly a woman under thirty in this country. I've known plenty of guys who opted for the snip in their early 20s, who actually got the procedure done with the first doctor they spoke to. Women on the other hand... One friend with a medical necessity for a hysterectomy had to get two medical opinions and psych eval before they would go ahead with it. Does that sound fair or equal?
RM takes it further, though, and right up to the big brouhaha over gay marriage. If marriage is an institution where men "own" women (and lets face it, a lot of these "protect marriage types pretty obviously see it that way), then what do you make of a man who wants to be owned by another man, or women who see no need for this "ownership?"
My room-mate posits that a lot of homophobia comes from a certain type of man's fear that someone will think of him and treat him as he thinks of and treats women. I think this idea has a lot of merit. Particularly considering the previous paragraph.
And if you can't see how those last two paragraphs are connected, read more carefully and think harder.
As much as I love my family, there are certain parts of it who cannot get over the fact that I did not change my name when I got married. Where they see a radical break with tradition, I see an avoidance of more paperwork and extra fees.
Anyway, I'm going at this a lot more clumsily than RM did. Go read her thing.
