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polimicksParticularly of the Jack Chick tract reading variety.
"Being a good person won't get you into Heaven."
That is a line used in several Chick tracts.
"Being a good person won't get you into Heaven."
However, apparently being a child-raping, axe-murdering douchebag who at the zero hour proclaims, "Jesus, I'm sorry forgive me!" will.
This use of Jesus as a "Get out of trouble for being a hypocritical, cruel, lying douchebag for my entire life," card is what really annoys the fuck out of me. I've had this debate before. Many times. And it never makes any more sense to me. Well, it does, but not how most of these people think it does.
It's much easier to live your life as a douchebag and then ask forgiveness than it is to just not be a douchebag for a lot of people.
Me? I'd really rather just not be a douchebag and trust that whatever primal creative force in the universe there is is actually just. Because if it is, then a whole lot of these fuckheads are in for a rude awakening. And my primal creative force is totally OK with gloating.
I've talked about my best friend in Jr. High before. Her folks became born agains when we were 14. And their preacher ran off with all the church money and his mistress. Then, when the money ran out came slinking back with his tail between his legs, and they forgave him, his wife took him back and they let him be minister again. Which, I'm guessing, lasted until roughly about the time the church treasury held enough money for him to buy another sports car, run off with another mistress, and burn through it all in about six months again.
See, here's the thing. I don't know who's right, but I do ascribe to the sort of God who allowed us to develop modern medicine to fix diseases rather than refusing treatment and just bugging him with prayers. The kind of God who sends two boats and a helicopter to someone trapped in a flooding house, but my God would also slap the fool who refused all three of those in the back of the head, a la Gibbs on NCIS, when they showed up at the Pearly Gates, and then send their prideful "God will save me personally" ass right on down to Hell.
And I'm also a firm believer that if you live your life as a fucking doucheclam, then whatever happens in the afterlife will probably not be pleasant no matter how many times you say you're sorry to Jesus.
Honestly, we all just need one commandment: Thou Shalt Not be a Shithead.
And if being a good person won't get you into Heaven, then I don't want to go. I mean, who the hell wants to spend eternity surrounded by a bunch of hypocritical fucksticks who pulled a fast one on God? Or more to the point, a God who would allow a bunch of hypocritical fucksticks to pull a fast one on him? Oh, and I'm sure they are sincere in their deathbed conversions. I really am. For that five minutes I am sure they are the most sincere mother fuckers on this planet. Like the saying goes, "There are no atheists in foxholes."
And the idea that God is so petty that if you don't use the right name, you're doomed. Like God's some sort of socialite who'll snub you for mispronouncing her name. I mean, seriously. God is in charge of everything everywhere and he's going to get his knickers in twist because you call him "Allah" or "Buddha" or even "Cerridwen?"
This is NOT how I feel about all Christians. I've known some pretty awesome, very actually Christian people who live good lives, are kind to children and animals and do it not because it'll get them to Heaven, but because being a good person is the right thing to do and they view Faith as a means to this end. These folks, I respect.
To Jack Chick and all his ilk, fuck off and die in fire. Seriously.
"Being a good person won't get you into Heaven."
That is a line used in several Chick tracts.
"Being a good person won't get you into Heaven."
However, apparently being a child-raping, axe-murdering douchebag who at the zero hour proclaims, "Jesus, I'm sorry forgive me!" will.
This use of Jesus as a "Get out of trouble for being a hypocritical, cruel, lying douchebag for my entire life," card is what really annoys the fuck out of me. I've had this debate before. Many times. And it never makes any more sense to me. Well, it does, but not how most of these people think it does.
It's much easier to live your life as a douchebag and then ask forgiveness than it is to just not be a douchebag for a lot of people.
Me? I'd really rather just not be a douchebag and trust that whatever primal creative force in the universe there is is actually just. Because if it is, then a whole lot of these fuckheads are in for a rude awakening. And my primal creative force is totally OK with gloating.
I've talked about my best friend in Jr. High before. Her folks became born agains when we were 14. And their preacher ran off with all the church money and his mistress. Then, when the money ran out came slinking back with his tail between his legs, and they forgave him, his wife took him back and they let him be minister again. Which, I'm guessing, lasted until roughly about the time the church treasury held enough money for him to buy another sports car, run off with another mistress, and burn through it all in about six months again.
See, here's the thing. I don't know who's right, but I do ascribe to the sort of God who allowed us to develop modern medicine to fix diseases rather than refusing treatment and just bugging him with prayers. The kind of God who sends two boats and a helicopter to someone trapped in a flooding house, but my God would also slap the fool who refused all three of those in the back of the head, a la Gibbs on NCIS, when they showed up at the Pearly Gates, and then send their prideful "God will save me personally" ass right on down to Hell.
And I'm also a firm believer that if you live your life as a fucking doucheclam, then whatever happens in the afterlife will probably not be pleasant no matter how many times you say you're sorry to Jesus.
Honestly, we all just need one commandment: Thou Shalt Not be a Shithead.
And if being a good person won't get you into Heaven, then I don't want to go. I mean, who the hell wants to spend eternity surrounded by a bunch of hypocritical fucksticks who pulled a fast one on God? Or more to the point, a God who would allow a bunch of hypocritical fucksticks to pull a fast one on him? Oh, and I'm sure they are sincere in their deathbed conversions. I really am. For that five minutes I am sure they are the most sincere mother fuckers on this planet. Like the saying goes, "There are no atheists in foxholes."
And the idea that God is so petty that if you don't use the right name, you're doomed. Like God's some sort of socialite who'll snub you for mispronouncing her name. I mean, seriously. God is in charge of everything everywhere and he's going to get his knickers in twist because you call him "Allah" or "Buddha" or even "Cerridwen?"
This is NOT how I feel about all Christians. I've known some pretty awesome, very actually Christian people who live good lives, are kind to children and animals and do it not because it'll get them to Heaven, but because being a good person is the right thing to do and they view Faith as a means to this end. These folks, I respect.
To Jack Chick and all his ilk, fuck off and die in fire. Seriously.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-21 11:15 pm (UTC)I could go a couple of different ways on this. One way could be to try and explain (as best as I can) where folks like Chick get their ideas. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm up to that task - there's this sort of American folk version of Christianity that doesn't really ascribe to theology, per se, and is more of a collection of not very well thought out (IMHO) beliefs, which makes it hard to parse. So I don't think I'll go down that route.
I could theoretically go into great detail about the Catholic, or Orthodox, or Anglican, or various Protestant denominational views on salvation, forgiveness, justification and sanctification. That's a pretty big topic, and wouldn't really address what you're getting at here, though.
Or, I could just tell you what I think, as someone who identifies myself as Christian, but can't stand Chick tracts either. Maybe that's the best approach.
Simply put, I don't know or care what happens to me after I die, and I don't think that this is, or should be, the entire point of Christianity. I don't think that this was Jesus' message, and moreover, I think that it's ultimately a rather doomed way of going about things. It's a grave. It's meaningless. It's death-worshipping.
Having said that, it's clear that I have nothing to say regarding whether or not God will be damning anyone, for any reason. It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I will leave that as a mystery, one that I may, or may not, get the answer to when I die.
What I care about is right here, and right now. Forgiveness is a marvelous thing, but it's a two way street, regardless of whether it's between people, or between the divine and a person. Confession, admitting your faults, is only the first step, and it's not a get out of jail free card. You still have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You still have done the wrong. While I might forgive, this only has meaning if there is a change within. It doesn't change anything, and yet, somehow, it does.
It's a means of short circuiting rage, hate, and revenge. It's a tool to allow for new life. Not a "new life" that's completely disconnected from your old one. But a new life that allows some possibility of change for the better. It's still up to us to take advantage of it, to come to terms with what we may have done, and what we do. It is a way of trying to value all life, even if that life is broken, horrible, and full of evil.
One can argue if this is of more benefit to the one forgiving or the one being forgiven. I don't personally know. I'm tempted to suggest it's the former, often.
And, frankly, it's pretty near impossible. "Love your enemies" is, I think, one of the craziest, most radical, and just plain hardest things that has ever been asked of us. I just happen to think that it's true.