Something I've been meaning to talk about for awhile.

[polimicks]

http://angeratthestupid.wordpress.com/2009/03/04/misogynist-nerds/

Anger at the Stupid, a new blog I just found, names the problem pretty well.

Basically the sloppy, disheveled, misogynist douchebag nerd, who will whine and whine and whine about how the girls he's attracted to are shallow, materialistic whores because they want nothing to do with him because he hasn't got money or isn't good looking, or whatever...

HOWEVER, when someone points out that there are girls who do find him attractive and share his hobbies, he will scornfully dismiss them as "Fat and Ugly" or otherwise "not his type." And if confronted on this will then expound on how you can't help who you're attracted to.

So, when hot girls aren't attracted to him they're shallow, materialistic whores who don't know what they're missing.

But when he isn't attracted to girls who are available and possibly interested in him, it's because "you can't help who you're attracted to."

Yeah, fuck you, Captain Double Standard.

Seriously.

And every time I talk about a "hot" nerd guy (say, Vin Diesel) in the GGR colulmns I catch a ration of shit for making real geek guys feel bad, because I'm all about the pretty. But really, if you've met the Husband and I, you know that he doesn't look anything like Vin Diesel, and to me he is the most beautiful man in the world, because he's smart, funny and just all around awesome. Would I like to fuck Vin Diesel? Yes. Duh. Would I trade him for the Husband? Not in a million years.


I'll probably post more on this later, but I wanted to get this out before I exploded.

Comments

[kashma.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

This has troubled me for years. It's not just geeks, it's guys in general.

Some guys (maybe even most) get the impression that they are destined to date either a super model or a porn star. Their expectations are completely bizarre. They want, if they were honest with themselves, subservient, oversexed, non-opinionated women who were only around when they needed sex, someone to listen to them bitch, or food.

When that doesn't immediately appear, they get all misogynistic and direct anger about how stupid and sad their life is onto women in general.

I get angry about this. I get angry, too, about the geek/non-geek divide. I married a non-geek (well, she's strange, but not a geek per se. A geek about art, about design, about music, and a number of other things, but doesn't game, hates anime, doesn't read SF, hated Firefly within the first 4 minutes, and generally doesn't share anywhere near all my interests). She's the best thing that ever happened to me.

But, just in case there are any guys out there who are still so woefully unclued as to expect a supermodel - guess what, having a relationship with another human is tough. It requires listening and respecting the other person. It requires, amazingly, putting them first, just as they do so for you. It requires dealing with the fact that you're not going to be perfectly compatible in all things, that you're going to fight, that you're going to struggle, that she'll get pissed at you, and you at her, and you need to be adult and deal with it.

No magic ponies. No porn stars. Humans. And I wish, if guys aren't capable or willing to make the sort of compromises and put in the work that's necessary for a relationship, they would just STFU.

[morinon.livejournal.com]

People who are incapable/willing to make those kinds of compromises, they're highly unlikely to be rational/mature in other situations either.