Good Fats -v- Bad Fats

[polimicks]

Here's the thing. I speak at length about how I eat right, exercise, do active stuff and take care of myself. I go to the doctor regularly, all of my numbers (blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol) are great, if not a bit on the low side. I like to work out. I enjoy being active. I am, what is often referred to in the Fat Acceptance Blogosphere (Fatosphere) as a "Good Fattie." I do everything right, short of starving myself, and still don't lose the weight.

On the other side of the coin are "Bad Fatties" who eat nothing but bon-bons and baby donuts (thanks to Kate Harding and the other ladies on Shapely Prose http://kateharding.net/), who never, ever exercise or do anything. Of course, their numbers (blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol) are NOT good, and they are OBVIOUSLY dying from their DeathFat.

But how can you, the casual observer, tell the two apart?

You can't.

This isn't City of Heroes/Villians, or WoW or any other MMORPG where people's stats and life bars float above their heads telling you how healthy you are.

Not to mention, IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!! Seriously. It isn't any of your business. Not even a little bit. And I don't care if you HAVE to sit next to them on the bus, or stand near them in a bus shelter, or look at them in public. It remains none of your fucking business. As I've said before, fat people know they're fat, and if shaming people into losing weight worked, we'd all look like Kate Moss. But it doesn't. So knock it the fuck off, asswipe.

Also, just to throw this in the mix there are *gasp* skinny people out there who eat like shit, whose numbers suck, who have diabetes, heart disease and all that crap that is supposed to zero in on the ZOMG FATTIES! And you can't tell by looking at them either.

So, here's an idea. Instead of your default being "Treat fat people like shit because they are OBVIOUSLY killing themselves with their unnatural appetites and willful destruction of the world," why don't you change your default to, "Treat ALL people like human beings regardless of what they look like." That way you don't have to look like an asshole, and I don't have to raise my blood pressure by restraining the urge to slap some sense into that empty melon you have sitting on your shoulders in lieu of a head.

Comments

[dangerous-beans.livejournal.com]

Here's a question, and it's not meant to be offensive so I apologize in advance if it is.

I'm by no means a skinny-minnie and in fact, I am well over healthy weight. My question is, how to I tell a friend who is even larger than me and she's aware that she's a big girl, that I'm worried about her health without implying she's fat?

As you've said before, fat people almost always know that they're fat and nagging isn't going to change us. But in this gal's case, going up and down stairs a couple of times leaves her wheezing, and she's got joint problems and other health (including mental health) issues, and exercising will make her feel better? Even if she doesn't lose weight, it will help the rest, so is there a tactful way to tell her or convince her to come work out with me?

[polimicks.livejournal.com]

She knows. Leave it.

You can ask her if she'd like to work out with you, as a social thing if you're so inclined. But if she says no, leave her alone about it.

Seriously, no one who is fat has not heard about a brazillion times that exercise will make them feel better, etc...

However, she may have a medical condition she isn't comfortable sharing. Gods, the number of times I've gotten shit from people who tell me I need to do more leg machines at the gym, and then when I patiently explain that no, I have chrondomalacia (which I'm spelling wrong) and arthritis, and that those machines will hurt me worse, only to get told I don't know what I'm talking about ... Yeah, because neither I, nor my orthopedic surgeon have ANY idea what I'm talking about here...

I shouldn't have to explain to people why I don't run (knees), don't use the leg extensions (knees), don't a lot of things.

Be prepared that she will rebuff your offer and leave it at that.

Holy crap, after the butt surgery when I could barely shuffle around, I had people lecturing me on not taking the stairs. They didn't see a cane or cast, so I must have been fine, right?

So many conditions and illnesses are "invisible" in that there are no obvious signs that lay people can pick up, even when they see you day to day.

I'm sure tons of people who see me out dancing at the clubs like a maniac, have no idea I have chronic arthritis in my knees, hips and ankles. Yes, I CAN dance for hours, but I pay for it the next day. Oh, do I.

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't think I was being overly mean at you, but... Yeah.

[dangerous-beans.livejournal.com]

*grin* No, not too harsh. I understand the aggravation because people have done that to me. Not often, but enough.

I don't care if she's fat, I just want her to be healthy. And it sucks that I can't do anything other than ask and not be upset when she declines. And not be aggravated when she complains about her newest ache and pain and medical condition. *sigh*

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

If she hasn't told you she's seeing a doctor for those things, then you can suggest it. Again, if she says she is, or that she isn't interested, let it lie.