Why do I even have to deal with this bullshit?

[polimicks]

Ok, so in the last post I had comments from people I like, and generally respect. Snide comments about how I'm taking a "really controversial" stance by saying that rape is wrong. And also stating that there's no "pro-rape lobby."

I'm glad that you're both intelligent and informed enough to realize that rape is wrong. However, the way rape victims are treated by the police, by the courts and the press demonstrates over and over and over, that not everyone realizes this.

Many people believe that when women are raped, they must have done something to deserve it, including the women themselves. Men who rape evolve amazing mental defenses to be able to deny the reality that they are indeed rapists.

Women who try to press rape charges are still frequently asked by the police if they're sure they "want to ruin this young man's life like that." If that isn't pro-rape, I don't know what is.

Women are interrogated about where they were, if they knew their attacker, what they were wearing, what they were doing... Any time a woman tries to report the rape by someone of a "higher" social status she is immediately accused of being a gold-digger, of trying to ruin a "good man," of having an agenda. When a woman accuses any man, her entire life is turned upside down, every part of it is scrutinized as if she were the accused rather than her rapist.

And if anyone says a damn thing about false rape reporting after reading my post on it, I will personally skin you and then give you your own ass as a hat.

And you know, this is one thing that really pisses me off. People consistently, when blaming women for their own rapes, make the analogy of a guy walking down a bad street wearing expensive clothes with money hanging out of his pockets. There are two ways that analogy breaks down:
1. Someone violating a woman's body with rape is not the same as having something external to your being like money or a watch stolen.
2. Even if the guy was drunk and walking down a bad street, no one is going to ask him if he's sure he wants to ruin the mugger's life by pressing charges. Charges will be pressed in far better than half of all reported muggings. And no one is going to try to defend the mugger by saying the guy asked for it. No one. They may think he's been a fool, but everyone knows that stealing is a crime and that the guy who ripped him off broke the law. It doesn't work that way with rape. Ever. Not even with children.

That is why suggesting that rapists be held accountable and that rapists be charged IS controversial. It's why demanding that rapists DO jail time is controversial. And further, if you're so bothered by these posts, don't fucking read them.

Comments

[polimicks.livejournal.com]

Ok, will make corrections. You're right on the typo, (oops) and the as thing.

The thing is, there has to be a way of proving guilt without re-victimizing the rape victim. Most rape victims report feeling raped all over again, repeatedly, by the investigation. This is a factor in why so few rapes get reported.

I mean, think about it. People's whose homes are broken into report feeling violated. Now just picture how much worse that is when it's your BODY that's been broken into, pushed into... I can't come up with a good analogy for it. I don't know if there is one.

But then imagine you not only have to tell complete strangers what happened, you have to do it repeatedly, and you have to deal with the people who are supposed to help you telling you that you shouldn't "do this" to the person who violated you so horribly. You have to submit to a rape kit that echoes the violent act committed upon your body. Your assailant's lawyers are going to tell you and everyone else, repeatedly, that you're just a loose whore who was asking for it, who wanted it and just experienced "buyer's remorse."

There has to be a way to prosecute without doing re-raping the victims.

[polimicks.livejournal.com]

Second sentence, third paragraph, should be "People whose"

[kurosau.livejournal.com]

::nod:: I know precisely what you mean. Exactly what you mean, actually.

And my apologies on the typo stuff. Sometimes I don't know when to turn off my editing.

My concern is that I believe in evidence over argument. Like you said before, it's total bullshit when a rape victim gets accused of being a 'loose whore', given how absurdly emotional and non-factual that argument is. So as a result, we go to the evidence, the most obvious of which is the physical examination.

And boy howdy. I've never had to deal with one of those myself, and I never will. But past experiences allow me to empathize with someone running roughshod over a very painful memory like that.

I'm not sure I can imagine a way to collect physical evidence of the crime, and even then the evidence can't always prove rape.

[javagoth.livejournal.com]

I think maybe it would be easier to submit to the evidence gathering if there wasn't all the other stuff to deal with - if it was handled as compassionately as possible...