Why do I even have to deal with this bullshit?

[polimicks]

Ok, so in the last post I had comments from people I like, and generally respect. Snide comments about how I'm taking a "really controversial" stance by saying that rape is wrong. And also stating that there's no "pro-rape lobby."

I'm glad that you're both intelligent and informed enough to realize that rape is wrong. However, the way rape victims are treated by the police, by the courts and the press demonstrates over and over and over, that not everyone realizes this.

Many people believe that when women are raped, they must have done something to deserve it, including the women themselves. Men who rape evolve amazing mental defenses to be able to deny the reality that they are indeed rapists.

Women who try to press rape charges are still frequently asked by the police if they're sure they "want to ruin this young man's life like that." If that isn't pro-rape, I don't know what is.

Women are interrogated about where they were, if they knew their attacker, what they were wearing, what they were doing... Any time a woman tries to report the rape by someone of a "higher" social status she is immediately accused of being a gold-digger, of trying to ruin a "good man," of having an agenda. When a woman accuses any man, her entire life is turned upside down, every part of it is scrutinized as if she were the accused rather than her rapist.

And if anyone says a damn thing about false rape reporting after reading my post on it, I will personally skin you and then give you your own ass as a hat.

And you know, this is one thing that really pisses me off. People consistently, when blaming women for their own rapes, make the analogy of a guy walking down a bad street wearing expensive clothes with money hanging out of his pockets. There are two ways that analogy breaks down:
1. Someone violating a woman's body with rape is not the same as having something external to your being like money or a watch stolen.
2. Even if the guy was drunk and walking down a bad street, no one is going to ask him if he's sure he wants to ruin the mugger's life by pressing charges. Charges will be pressed in far better than half of all reported muggings. And no one is going to try to defend the mugger by saying the guy asked for it. No one. They may think he's been a fool, but everyone knows that stealing is a crime and that the guy who ripped him off broke the law. It doesn't work that way with rape. Ever. Not even with children.

That is why suggesting that rapists be held accountable and that rapists be charged IS controversial. It's why demanding that rapists DO jail time is controversial. And further, if you're so bothered by these posts, don't fucking read them.

Comments

[rocza.livejournal.com]

And if anyone says a damn thing about false rape reporting after reading my post on it, I will personally skin you and then give you your own ass as a hat.
Well, I could use a new hat...

No, actually, all I was going to say is that unfortunately, I think the occasional high profile false accusation tends to leave a very lasting impression on the public mind. The Duke lacrosse case from 2006 is a very good example; people went for blood against those players and their coaches, threatening them, vandalizing their homes, etc. And yet in the end, they were completely cleared of all charges, and the woman recanted her accusation.

I recall cases, off and on prior to that, where similar happened - one every few years, and generally more local. They seem to happen just enough, though, that it leeches into the collective memory. And because of the way media works to influence memory and belief, it's a lot more insidious than the raw numbers make it out to be.

That's the primary reason I would like to see people who are accused of rape given at least one of the same media courtesies given to victims: blank their faces and black out their names until they have been convicted of a crime. While our legal system might rest on a notion of innocent until proven guilty, our media works on a more sensationalist guilty when accused model.

I think if we took that simple step, the cultural fear of being falsely accused of rape would dramatically drop. As is, though, just the accusation can be enough to do lasting damage to someone's name/reputation - and I think that this inculcates a greater fear than there should be of something that is, in fact (and as you point out) incredibly rare.

...hopefully that makes sense. It's late, but I wanted to comment while remembering.

[polimicks.livejournal.com]

You know, I'd be ok with both the name and face of the victim and accused being screened until the evidence could be looked at. I think that's a brilliant idea.

[rocza.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I occasionally have them. Some year I might even start advocating for it. (It's one of those tricky things to advocate for, though, since it looks like you're trying to defend scum when no, that's not actually the point.)

[mojrim.livejournal.com]

I like that idea a great deal, but I'm wondering about practical application. SInce these names are a matter of public record from day one, how would youapply this idea in law?

[polimicks.livejournal.com]

Honestly, given the problems with "fair trials" in high profile cases... Maybe there should be media blackouts until cases are settled.

[rocza.livejournal.com]

I never said anything about it being a law.